Sleepy Birthday in Santa Barbara - Santa Barbara, CA

“Hello? Blog? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Where have you been? I thought you were going to write about your trip to Santa Barbara last weekend.”

“I was! But I was a complete dumb ass and forgot my camera. These entries aren’t any good without pictures to back them up.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think the people would understand.”

“You think?”

“Yeah sure, why not? Plus, you know, you could always steal pictures off of the web and claim them as your own.”

“That’s a bit dodgy to do.”

“You’ve done it before.”

“Well yeah, sure, I’ve done it before…but not for an entire entry. I usually only steal one or two.”

“What about the fire entry? Did you take any one of those photos?”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying.”

This is one of the missions in Santa Barbara. I didn't go here, but I saw it.

Last weekend was my birthday. About a month ago I didn’t have any plans for it, which is weird since I usually plan something a good two to three months in advance. This un-planning may have stemmed from the fact that I really wasn’t looking forward to turning 34. I know, it’s stupid, but I really was freaking out like 34 was officially the end of my days. What’s sad is that I’m sure I’ll look back on this 10 years from now and will want to kick my 34 self in the head with a big ole steal toed boot. Anyhow, I finally decided a few weeks ago to spend the day in Santa Barbara. And I decided this because I really wanted to take the train.

I’ve actually been (not in a scary creepy way) obsessing about the train recently. I’m going to Portland in a couple weeks via the train so I think since I ordered my tickets for that I’ve been checking weekly on other places I can take via the train. Did you know you can’t take the train from Los Angeles to Las Vegas? It’s true. It’s the busiest freeway anywhere from Friday afternoon to Sunday (this is not a fact, just something I would believe as true since I’ve sat on that freeway for 7 hours before…) and they don’t have a train to ease the congestion. I guess they USED to have a train between the two cities but was cancelled because no one was using it. They are thinking about bringing it back though with a fancy high speed levitating magnetic train instead of the slow ass shit Amtrak train. That would be awesome.

So yes! Santa Barbara. The night before we were suppose to leave, I decided to be really good and stay home, not drink a single pre-birthday cocktail, and go to bed nice and early so that I wouldn’t be tired waking up at 5:30 AM to catch our train. Of course an unforeseen kink put a wrench in my ingenious plan….I couldn’t sleep. And when I say I couldn’t sleep, I mean, I couldn’t sleep AT ALL. I don’t know if it was excitement or nerves, or over thinking the previous day at work or if someone slipped in some caffeine in my decaf, but after tossing and turning for 4 hours, I finally gave up. I had to get up at 5:30 and by 2 o’clock I’m still on the couch watching Dr. Who. I finally dozed off around 4:30 which means, by all accounts, I did get an hour sleep. It was going to be a great birthday.

The view from the train had my eyes been open to see it.

We caught our train in Irvine and I tried desperately to sleep on the train. But, like my mother, I cannot fall asleep during day light hours. It’s impossible and normally I don’t even try. My mom tells me that in pre-school she had to tell my teachers not to yell at me if I wouldn’t go down for a nap, because I never would. I actually have a faint memory of playing on a plastic slide while all the other kids were sleeping on their mats. I can only imagine that my not napping must have drove my mom crazy early on, I mean, c’mon…naptime…isn’t that what all parents wait for during a day?

So yes! Santa Barbara. We arrive in Santa Barbara around noon. The previous plan was that we were going to go wine tasting right away. However, with an hour sleep under my belt, I didn’t think I could do it. Wine tasting is a lot of standing, drinking, and socializing. I certainly didn’t feel like socializing and I could barely stand (and would be less able to with drinking) so we just grabbed some lunch and took the shuttle, then bus, to our hotel on State Street.


There are a couple things I’d like to mention about Santa Barbara. Number one is that if you do take the train (which I would suggest to anybody since it’s awesome) and if you plan to stay on State Street, the public transportation system is great. Near the beach, you can take the State Street shuttle for about 12 blocks for 25 cents. From there you can grab the city bus for $1.25. The shuttle runs every 10-15 minutes and the city bus, although it always said we would have to wait, was always RIGHT THERE. It was almost eerie, that city bus. We’d go up to the bus stop and look at the schedule and even though EVERY TIME it said we’d be waiting at least 15-20 minutes for the next one to come, it was always right there-like it was following us. It was weird, but cool.

25 cent shuttle going up and down State Street.

The second thing I’d like to mention is that everyone says Santa Barbara is expensive. I personally don’t think that’s overly true. I mean, it’s not cheap by any means but it’s not going to break the bank. Well, except for lodging. Getting a hotel in Santa Barbara on the weekend is going to make you faint over the price you pay verses what you get. I’ve gotten 4 star hotels for under $100 in Las Vegas, San Diego, Toronto, and Chicago (over a weekend no less). Using the same means, I still ended up paying $140 for a flea bag hotel in Santa Barbara. The Motel 6 was a few bucks cheaper but it was farther away. We stayed at the Orange Tree Inn on State Street. The room was a bit dirty, we had to ask for soap, and there were ants. We did have a room overlooking the pool that we didn’t use. So yeah, something to keep in mind if you ever go.

The Orange Tree Inn, the good angle.

After dropping our bags off in our room, we caught the bus back to the main entertainment area of State Street. I’d love to go into details about what we all did, but to be completely honest, I don’t remember much. I was so tired I was loopy. I remember giving a dollar to each performer I met on the street (“It’s my birthday, I’m being generous!”), I remember going to a used CD store, and I remember going to the Old King’s Road to play pool. We actually go to the Old King’s Road every time we’re in Santa Barbara. It’s close to the train station and we love their ‘No Wankers’ motto. Kevin bought me a sweatshirt with that on it. He’s awesome.


Finally we went the Chase for my birthday dinner. They had a special with steak and lobster and since I’ve never tried lobster, I decided to get it. Not surprisingly, I didn’t like it so Kevin ate most of it for me. After dinner I was pretty much done so we had a quick nightcap at the Croc bar (I couldn’t resist have a croctail) and went back to the hotel. That’s right. I was dead asleep on my birthday at 9 o’clock. And I slept like a rock.

Inside of the Chase restaurant. That's actually our table...the Elvis table we were told.

AND I was up at 6 in the morning. Its times like this that I really feel bad for Kevin who has a fairly normal sleeping schedule.

The next day was so much better than the first (since I was actually walking around like a normal sleep filled person) except there was the sadness of the trip ending. We packed up fairly early and went downtown. We did some shopping, had brunch, went wine tasting, grabbed dinner, then caught the train back home.

Downtown State Street

I think next year I’m going to stay up all night long the day before the day before my birthday in a huge effort never to waste the day again. Though I have to admit, turning 34 wasn’t so bad when all my concentration was spent on trying to remain upright.

See you all in a month when I return from Portland. Or maybe I’ll blog from Portland. That would be new. Correspondent Moe: Live from Portland!