Mini Roadside America Road Trip - Orange County\Long Beach, CA

In the early 1990’s, when everyone I knew around my age smartly went off to college, I began what I like to call my Wander Years. One could argue that I still am in my Wander Years, but it surely wouldn’t be the move-every-3-months craziness as it was before; for awhile I was doing a tri-state move-fest between Wisconsin, Colorado, and oddly enough, Missouri. Both during and between moves, I would visit other states to either check out a potential new place to move, or just for stupid teen-twenties parties (the Anarchist Picnic in Indiana springs to mind). During this time frame I bought this book, the new Roadside America Handbook.

I used to spend hours at the Denny’s on 6th and Wadsworth in Lakewood, CO pouring over that book, dreaming of the road trip across America I would one day take in my 1963 convertible something - once I could afford it. Think Tom Cochran’s ‘Life is a Highway’ video minus Tom Cochran. I’d see the giant peach in Gaffney, South Carolina! I leave a deposit at the 3-story outhouse in Bryant Pond, ME! I’d defy gravity in Santa Cruz, CA! I had that book dog-eared and highlighted with notes in the margins. And for a while you couldn’t even see me without seeing that book in tow.

Sadly, the book, as well as the Denny’s on 6th and Wadsworth is long gone. I never did make that road trip though I’d be a damn liar if I said it still wasn’t one of my dreams.

Recently I ran into the Roadside America website. Looking through the entries for the Muffler Man and the Giant Egg brought me back to those early Denny’s Days. I decided that although I don’t have the fortune or vacation time to do my cross-country trip the way I meant it to be, I could certainly do a mini Roadside America road trip on Saturday afternoon. So that’s exactly what I did.

Checking out the site map, I decided that quantity would have to rule over quality in my mini trip. I grabbed a map, a soda, a full pack of smokes, kissed the boyfriend good-bye, and off I went.


When traffic was actually light.

The first stop was White House Doll Museum in Anaheim. The description was, “Hobby City is a street packed with a variety of hobby stores. One building that jumps out is a half-size version of the White House. It contains a 4,000+ item toy and doll museum and a large Barbie and Ken collection.” I found traffic getting to this wayside was a pain in the ass. I found the half-sized version of the White House just as disappointing. I would like to point out, however, that if I ever decide to build a model again, I’m coming here. I didn’t have the $2.00 in cash to look at the actual doll museum, so after taking a picture, I was on to my next destination.

Radical Reptiles was unfortunately not open

…which was the giant donut! Of the three wayside attractions I wanted to see the most, the giant donut was the highest on my list. This may stem from fond childhood memories of the giant cows in both South Dakota and Wisconsin (Dad: “Look! Giant Cow! Moo! MOO!”). I just love giant … whatevers. That sounded dirty so we’re going to move on.

As you can see from the picture, the sign obviously say ‘bagel’. I happen to know that it’s actually a donut that got converted to a bagel at some point in time, so donut I will call it, ‘bagel’ be damned. And I obviously had to have a donut there or else I’d just be cheating. It wasn’t half bad.

Mmmmm....donut.

After the donut and the picture taking, I moved on to Long Beach where the World’s Largest Flag is kept. I wasn’t sure what to expect – would the flag be on display in a museum? Would it be wrapped in one of those flag triangles? I had no idea, nor did I have an exact address. The website said it was on 4th and Lime. When I got to 4th Street, I made a right turn thinking that Lime would soon come up. I passed Orange Ave, Walnut Ave, and Cherry Ave before I realized I was going in the wrong direction. I made a u-turn a low and behold, world’s largest flag. I’m such a dumbass. If I had simply looked left instead of right at 4th I wouldn’t have been able to miss it. It’s the world’s largest flag after all.

I pulled over and over compensated my dumbass-ness by taking 20 different pictures. I must have looked really patriotic.

Deceased Flag Owner...and bird.

After the giant flag I headed home. I was a bit disappointed as the three attractions didn’t take more than an hour or so to see (including driving). I wish I had known or else I would have fit in Hitler's Beer Steins and Richard Nixon’s Birthplace and Library.

*Sigh*. Maybe next time.

Well kids, next week’s update is going to be a bit late. Kevin and I are cruising out of state for a few days. I don’t want to give too much away, but I do promise multiple updates when we return.