Driving Range - Costa Mesa, CA

Before I even begin this, I’d like to mention that it’s hot. I don’t want to swear but when it’s this FUCKING hot one can’t help but do so. I apologize to all the mothers out there (Happy Mother’s Day!). We’ve been in the 90’s and 100’s for the last couple of days, which is absolutely miserable to sleep in if you don’t have an air conditioner…which we didn’t, up until Saturday that is. Kevin is currently putting it in. Since we got the cheap-o (my mother’s word by the way) air conditioner that fits normal up and down windows and we actually have the slide-y windows that California is so famous for (they’re called casement windows, I actually had to inform the gentleman at Home Depot of this. Idiots) Kevin has to do a MacGyver on it to get it to stay in the window without falling to the patio below and crushing me to death, as that’s where I normally am. Please put your hands together and wish him luck. I know I am.

SO! Yes! About the new thing this weekend…

A lot of our friends out here are golfers. I’d even go as far to say that they are avid golfers. Every time I see one of them they usually have golf shoes on, spare golf balls in their pockets, crumpled up golf card sitting on the table, and a wicked tan…even in the middle of January. For a while now, I’ve been requesting (which quickly formed to pitiful begging) to have one of them take me out golfing as my new thing of the week. A lot of the times they ignore my requests by glancing away and changing the subject to something else. Sometimes they offer me a “Maybe”. Most of the time they say, “Go to the driving range a couple times first, then we’ll talk.”


Why won't anyone take me here?

I didn’t want to go to the driving range first though. I just figured that I would be a natural. They would take me golfing the first time and I would amaze them with my hidden skill, lying silent in the little cabinet of “If only I would have tried this sooner, I would have made a million dollars by now.”

On Saturday I ran into my golfer friends again. Without a stream of conscious deeper than “heylookatthemgolfshoesIshouldgotothedrivingrangetomorrow” I boldly looked at them and said with confidence, “I think I’m going to the driving range tomorrow!” I got a few shocked looks with this statement but even more surprising to me an offer from Mari and Gunter to come with. Awesome. Gunter even volunteered to let us use his clubs.

Kevin and I met up at Mari and Gunter house at 1PM on Sunday and they took us to the Costa Mesa Golf Club. We paid $9 for a large bucket of golf balls and set up camp at one of the driving range…um, stations I guess. As this is my first time ever at a golf course (mini golf not included) I really don’t know the terminology. I’m sorry. I can’t say this experience changed that.



Gunter was the sole avid golfer in our group. He was fantastic at giving tips. Keep you feet planted. Keep your arm straight. Keep your eye on the ball even after you hit it. Head down. Legs Spread. Spin twice and kiss your grandma. I tried to remember all the rules when I took my first swing.


Gunter shows us how it's properly done. He is German after all.

Swing! And a miss.

Swing! And a miss.

Swing! And the ball hobbles 6 feet away and I run to get it.

Swing! And the ball heads in a horizontal arc directly left and almost knocks out a neighboring golfer.

Swing! And a miss.

Swing! And the ball makes it 10 feet away where I run and get it.

Swing! And the ball goes 15 yards!

Swing! And a miss. Dammit!

Obviously my hidden talent doesn’t lie in the area of golfing. But I will say that at the very end I managed to get the ball almost 100 yards a couple of times. Kevin has more of a knack for it than I do and Mari is a practically a natural. I think it helps that Gunter whispers golf tips in her ear at night.



After our bucket of balls was gone, I had a new appreciation for the game. I completely understand how frustrating it could be and at the same time I realize how fun it could be too. Kevin and I both expressed an interest in doing it again, agreeing that a bunch of times at the driving range is in order before we step foot on the actual golf course.


It will be awhile before I get to ride in one of these.

Kevin and I want to do a quick shout of thanks to Gunter for having the patience to teach us and to both Mari and Gunter for the celebratory beers afterwards. You guys rock.

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UPDATE! The air conditioner is in! Sweet dreams for us tonight. Hell, SLEEP for us tonight!