Please click here. Stay awhile if you’d like. I’ll be waiting for you when you get done laughing in wonder and amazement. Especially since the Cadbury Egg is the greatest man made creation this side of the Mississippi. Or even the other side. Hell, the world!
Because of this wonderfulness that is Pimp That Snack and the ease that the submitters appear to accomplish such feats of Pimpin’ Glory, I had to try my hand at it. It didn’t look too hard, really, and I figured it was about time someone gave kudos to the greatness that is the Hostess Ho-Ho.
My plan was to submit my entry to the site once completed. I didn’t do that. You’ll see why.
I got a recipe for Hostess Ho-Ho’s off of the Food Networks website. The recipe was for normal sized snacks but I figure a little improvising would get me through.
I started off with twice the amount of the recipe’s suggestion. This would happen to include the entire continent of Africa’s ration of butter.
This is only SOME of the butter I used.
Packages of Ho-Ho’s used to contain two, um, Ho’s. Hostess, God bless them for feeding into the nation’s obesity problem, has since included three ho’s in every package. Not knowing this, went for the classic two ho’s in my project. Man, how many hits am I going to get on this entry?
I started off with the cake part of the first Ho. This included a lot of melting of sugar via steam and brushing off my mixer that never sees the light of day except to whip Thanksgiving mashed potatoes. I added the cocoa and used a standard cookie sheet to bake the cake in.
While the first cake was baking, I tried putting together the sugar whipped creamy filling. This really was the start of my pimpin’ demise and the unneeded waste of a crap load of Africa’s butter.
While the filling looked OK, once spread on the cake, I realized that it wasn’t going to fill the cake once rolled. I tried whipping some mini marshmallows (read: more butter!) but I got too anxious putting the marshmallows on and rolling the cake that the filling just oozed out the side and covered most of my kitchen, myself, and the always underfoot cat with a sticky goo.
I put the pitiful first ho in the freezer to chill.
This might be the saddest thing I have cooked since souffle.
By the time I started on the 2nd cake, I felt like I had grown as a person just a little bit. I felt as though I couldn’t possible make the same mistake on the 2nd ho like I did the first. I would perfect it I said! And by all accounts, the 2nd ho is a heck of a lot better looking than the first. I figured that the standard Ho-Ho chocolate coating would cover up at least some of the mistakes I made.
Yeah. Except I kinda didn’t get enough chocolate. By this time I was both exhausted from 3 hours of pimpin’ and on a bit of a sugar high from all the wayward crème filling that just happened to jump in my mouth (oh the hits I’m going to get!) that I just poured on what chocolate I had and called it a night.
Kevin came down right at the point where I took my final picture and helped me clean up the kitchen. After the kitchen was finally clean, he preceded to make the best homemade pizza in the world. Show off. Too bad it wasn’t a pimpin’ pizza or else I would have forged his creation as my own and submitted it to Pimp That Pizza. If there was such a thing. Which there isn’t.
Getting hungry, huh?
See you folks next week when I plan to actually get out of the house.
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New Site of the Week:
If you haven’t yet, you should check out a blog called Whoopee. If the weasel on a motorbike entry doesn’t get you laughing (like a weasel rodent, not like a weasel dumb butt)(on a motorbike!), you are a robot and I will make you do my taxes…for free. Because robots don’t get paid, see?
