Orchid Show - Costa Mesa, CA

Because of the rain that was supposed to fall on Saturday, I searched for an indoor thing to do this week. This posed a problem for me as I didn’t know of many indoor things to do that I haven’t done already (like movies, ice skating, munchkin tossing (they’re small), etc). Saturday morning I stepped outside to our patio and noticed the prettiest weed I’ve ever seen in my life. And I say ‘weed’ as it’s coming out from a crack in the pavement and I certainly didn’t plant it myself. It could be a flower for all I know, and if someone does in fact know, go ahead and email me.


Weed or plant? You decide.

Regardless, this weed\plant was the inspiration I needed to head to the Orchid show at the Orange County Fairgrounds.



I had believed that an Orchid show would be, obviously a bunch of orchids, but I also thought that there would be demonstrations. You know, like how to take care of an orchid or the history of orchids through time, or why the orchid is similar to a porn star but charges less-just…something. But no, it was just orchids. As I said to my friends after the fact, “It wasn’t really an orchid show so much as it was an orchid store.” A store that charges you $4.00 to walk in and look around that is.



I hadn’t made it past two booths before I was accosted by an orchid salesperson. Thinking that I wasn’t going to get much information looking at price tags, I picked his brain. I got to tell you, these people are really into their orchids.



Things that I have learned about orchids from the sales person who was really into orchids:

• Orchids are sensitive to cold and heat. Do not put your orchids in the freezer or oven if at all possible.
  
• Some orchids need to be watered everyday. If you go on vacation, make sure to book a second ticket for your orchid and the specialized greenhouse you have constructed from a plastic milk carton and scotch tape.
  
• Some orchids will only bloom once or twice a year. The rest of the year you will loathe your orchid for being so ugly and unwilling to ‘put out’.
  
• Different orchids have different history. Some samurai warriors liked orchids and would go on dangerous missions to collect them. We don’t hear about these samurais as they were killed while doing other dangerous missions like scrapbooking and basket weaving.
  
• The awesome looking orchids are actually hybrid orchids and are not as well respected as ‘natural’ orchids. This is similar to the ‘natural’ Ford Escort not respecting the Hybrid Toyota Prius while it’s cruising along at 80 mph in the carpool lane (with only one passenger!) while the Escort is stuck in traffic.
  
• If the weather is warm enough, you can water your orchid at night. The orchid will not mind having his feet wet when he goes to bed. You will try not to laugh when an orchid salesperson says ‘having his feet wet when he goes to bed’.

I felt a little guilty for not buying an orchid after all that. But man, talk about high maintenance!



After my little chat, I cruised around the rest of the show. That took approximately 15 minutes. I ended up leaving and headed over to the swap meet next door. Since I wasn’t working the swap meet, I was able to shop. I bought socks. Yep, one whole square mile of shopping bonanza and I got socks. And they weren’t even for me.



By the way, it never did rain on Saturday.